逐句分析的追加5-10分,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?麻烦.考四级

逐句分析的追加5-10分,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?麻烦.考四级
big city or small town
nowdays,many graduates choose to work in big city .they may think that it is easier than small town to find a suitable job in big city.there are more working chances in big city and the level of salary is higher than small town.they are eager to learn more knowledge and to earn more money.
however,some graduates prefer to start their work in small town.in their eyes,the price of commodicies is much lower than big city.to the person who just graduate from college,it is suiable for them to work.
peasonally,i will stay at big city.after graduation.for one things,big city can provide more chances for me to work,especially the jobs that i like to.for another,there are more knowledge waitting for me to learn.the big city also can provide more chances for me to improve myself.

全篇都有的问题：
每句第一个字母大写,应该是你打字没注意；
in big cities,in small towns,没有特指哪个城市,哪个小镇,用复数；
比较级：** in big cities is/are 比较级 than that/those in small towns
big city or small town
nowdays,many graduates choose to work in big city .
they may think that it is easier than small town to find a suitable job in big city.
they may think that it is easier to find a suitable job in a big city than a small town .
city和town如果不用单数,请全部用复数.
there are more working chances in big city and the level of salary is higher than small town.
机会用opportunity,不用chance；there are more working opportunities in big cities and the salary level in big cities is high than in small towns.
they are eager to learn more knowledge and to earn more money.
however,some graduates prefer to start their work in small town.
in their eyes,(在他们眼中,可以说in their opinion,这个翻译太中式化了）the price of commodicies（商品,物品用commodity,不知道是不是你拼错了）,is much lower than big city（than that in big cities).to the person who just graduate from college（此句用过去式或者用现在完成时）,it is suiable for them to work.（这句话没说完啊,to work in small towns）
peasonally,i will stay at big city（stay in big cities）.after graduation.for one things（一方面,for one thing,不知道是不是打错了）,big city can provide more chances for me to work（offers me more working opportunities）,especially the jobs that i like to（不要用to,I like 或者说I prefer）.for another,there are more knowledge waitting for me to learn.（I’ve got too much to learn,这句话太中式化了） the big city also can provide more chances for me to improve myself.
感觉大问题没有,比较级用得不好,几个句子的翻译完全是照中文意思来的
打个12分吧