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帮忙看看这篇雅思小作文 有什么问题能拿几分

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帮忙看看这篇雅思小作文 有什么问题能拿几分
剑桥4 test 2 task1
The statistical data listed shows how people’s choice oftransportation varied in England in 1985 and 2000.
The most dominant mode of travel in both years was by car, the travel distance of which experienced over 50% increase, from 3,199 miles in 1985 to 4,806 miles in 2000. This probably contributed to most of the overall travelling growth from 1985 to 2000, which was 4,740 and 6,475 milesrespectively.
Other ways of travel also rose 130 miles during the 15 years and remained the second most commonly used transportation, followed by taking train with an 80 miles/person/year increase by 2000. The amount of travelling by long distance bus and taxi also climbed considerably from 1985 to 2000.
There was a decrease of the use of local bus, from 429 miles in 1985 to 274 miles in 2000. Some other drops noticed were walking and riding, with 20 miles and 10 miles travelling distance reduction respectively.
Overall, it is noticeable that citizens’ reliance on cargrew from 1985 to 2000.
谢谢!
The most dominant mode of travel in both years was by car,the travel distance of which experienced over 50% increase,from 3,199 miles in 1985 to 4,806 miles in 2000.
The most dominant mode 是主语 was by car,作何解 experienced an over 50% increase,
increase 是可数的
Other ways of travel also rose 130 miles during the 15 years and remained the second most commonly used transportation,followed by taking train with an 80 miles/person/year increase by 2000.这句话让人confusing
remained the second most which one remained the second
There was a decrease of the use of local bus,句型很好,介词错误把of改为in
结尾太简单