我的雅思作文 评分 In recent years,many young people decide to furthe

我的雅思作文 评分
In recent years,many young people decide to further their study abroad.Do you think the advantages of study abroad outweigh its disadvantages?
Every morning we open our eyes,we found that we born in this rapidly changing society,in particular,in terms of working and studying etc.if you are an aficionado of the studying abroad “debate”,you have probably read at one time or another that current trends in this controversy shows that there is two opinions in this question,which is treat him as the angel,and other individuals think him is the demon.The way I see it,I am totally agree with this point which is think he is the angel.
Studying abroad may create substantial benefits.To begin with,this practice can help foster a strong sense of achievement in many students when they had fulfilled their school work.Secondly,it is not unrealistic that studying abroad could widen their knowledge and broaden their outlook.Technically,studying abroad could bring far-reaching effects for people ‘s life.Last but no least,it is not uncommon that students may gain higher salary when they came back to China.
On the other hands,China is a country which is developing all the time.So that when we go some developed countries[e.g,USA,UK,NASA]we must to pay higher fees.For instance,if a student complete his high-education in china,he will pay the fees between $8000-$9000,yet if he fulfill his university time in USA,the fees will between$100000-$120000.
Hegel said:what is rational is real,and what is real is rational.This shows that there is any thing has its profound significance,but everything has two sides,has its merits,must have its shortcomings.We come in this information explosion of the community needs the objective dialectical materialism we see things,if he is more good than harm,to promote him,and if more harm than good ,to limit his.
In the final analysis,despite of the negative effects such as higher fees,I am convinced that incited students studying abroad is in the interest of the individuals and the society as a whole,thank a lot.

首先,你的作文太chinglish了.外国人的表达你应该多注意一下.建议你多去看英文电影学习英文化的表达.
其次,在雅思作文中是很注重上下文的连接词的.这个你可以去买一本关于雅思写作的书,书上就给你列了几乎所有常见的连接词.
最后,雅思写作的阅卷一律是由外国人阅的.阅雅思卷和别的卷不同.阅卷老师领钱是按照阅的试卷份数领的.阅的多的领的钱就多.所以,注意你的卷面给他们的第一印象.
To sum up,you need more practice.