寻英文高手帮忙修改我的香港大学申请个人简介,主要内容不变.在用词、语法、含意等方面上修改.

寻英文高手帮忙修改我的香港大学申请个人简介,主要内容不变.在用词、语法、含意等方面上修改.
I‘m a graduate student from the BaShu Secondary School in ChongQing City.I am open-minded ,quick in thought and generous,friendly with other people.I have broad interests like many other youngers.In my spare time,I like reading books and weiqi(下围棋).I won the second prize in the senior school mathematic competition of China.
I've always looked forward to enter HKU for my college education.HKU enjoys a good reputation in the world for its liberal spirit,serious academic atmosphere and profound cultural tradition,attracts outstanding students and intellectual professors from different countries.In addition,HKU is also well known for its multiculturalism and flexibility; both of which will broaden my horizon and allow me the freedom to choose my own future.I am sure that I can establish my acadamic foundation and improve myself on all aspects here if I have this honor to be a member of this great school.
When it comes to academic interest,I’d like to become BSC(理学士).I'm passionate about thought and innovation,which I feel are both key elements to success.I tend to pursue the principles and fundamental essence of things,and do not give up easily.As a young man with belief and aspiration,I hope I can contribute to my country with my knowledge and abilities in the near future.
The time in university may be the most precious in one’s life .It will shape and polish one’s personalities and characters .I’m glad I have chosen HKU as my platform to expand my horizons and develop my capability .I believe that HKU will give me an penetrative eyesight ,which leads me to a wider future .
对了,有好的答案请发到我的QQ－－675869665,并在此处留下名字,我会给你加分的哟.

我帮你看看吧.等会儿发到你的email里面.是675869665@qq.com嘛?
再问： 是的。谢谢你了。
再答： 我给你发了。修改的地方都用黄色给你标注出来了。如果有问题，可以追问。
再问： 没有收到呀，朋友？可否再发一次试试吗？
再答： 你有没有其他的邮箱？我是用搜狐发给你的。我到百度hi上面给你吧。你会用吗？
再问： 你再给我邮箱发一次嘛。
再答： 已经再发了一次，而且显示发送成功。你q号码对不对？我还在百度hi上面也给你发了。你在你屏幕的右上方可以看到hi的标志。
再问： 有些用词，我本人都觉得不妥，比如此句：I'm passionate about thought and innovation, which I feel are both key elements to success. I tend to pursue the principles and fundamental essence of things, and do not give up easily. 词和意是否相一致？
再答： 我觉得还可以。你觉得那些词不妥的？