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请求帮忙批改托福作文~
学到的知识比创造力更有利于个人成功
Success,a magic word,which is always highlysought-after by many people .Both knowledge and creativity is a necessary elements to succeed,if given the choice,I tend to agree that creativity is of great importance to be successful.
It is not surprisingly that individuals who possess wide and profound knowledge have more possibilities to find a position this competitive society.In my parents generation,people who graduated from universities were able to find good jobs certainly in my country.since the majority of people who were not received higher education could only work in manual jobs.On the contrary,things have changed dynamically currently.In view of an increasing number of university students rushing into market,people who have the similar education background and capability makes job finding more difficult than in the past.
Being creative can excel yourself out among ordinary people and find your own path to success.Comparing with knowledge,creativity can better help people to be successful.A typical example is Steven Jobs.Although he was regarded as a good student in Reed,since he did not like to finish homework and assignment ,then he dropped out of Reed and spent more time on his own business.Despite many classmates are knowledgeable than Steven Jobs,they failed to beak the routines and traditional thinkings when studied in the university.Steven Jobs said:Your time is limited,do not waste it living someone else’ s life,do not let the noise of other’s opinion drawn out your inner voice.Only insisted on his own innovative ideas,can he invented the products of Apple which have revolutionized people’s life profoundly.
Possessing knowledge is one thing,applying them is another thing.It is said that middle school students in Shanghai China got the highest grades in PISA than many other foreign countries.Ironically,most Chinese students are lack creativity than their peer in those foreign countries.So that when Chinese students graduate from university,they tend to find regular and easy jobs like civil servants rather than challengeable and demanding jobs.That is to say,they give up to explore their potential to other distinct areas which may lead to greater success.
In short,I have shown that possessing creativity helps people better to be successful than knowledge.With creativity,people are able to listen to their inner voices and excavate their potential.
学到的知识比创造力更有利于个人成功
Success,a magic word,which is always highlysought-after by many people .Both knowledge and creativity is a necessary elements to succeed,if given the choice,I tend to agree that creativity is of great importance to be successful.
It is not surprisingly that individuals who possess wide and profound knowledge have more possibilities to find a position this competitive society.In my parents generation,people who graduated from universities were able to find good jobs certainly in my country.since the majority of people who were not received higher education could only work in manual jobs.On the contrary,things have changed dynamically currently.In view of an increasing number of university students rushing into market,people who have the similar education background and capability makes job finding more difficult than in the past.
Being creative can excel yourself out among ordinary people and find your own path to success.Comparing with knowledge,creativity can better help people to be successful.A typical example is Steven Jobs.Although he was regarded as a good student in Reed,since he did not like to finish homework and assignment ,then he dropped out of Reed and spent more time on his own business.Despite many classmates are knowledgeable than Steven Jobs,they failed to beak the routines and traditional thinkings when studied in the university.Steven Jobs said:Your time is limited,do not waste it living someone else’ s life,do not let the noise of other’s opinion drawn out your inner voice.Only insisted on his own innovative ideas,can he invented the products of Apple which have revolutionized people’s life profoundly.
Possessing knowledge is one thing,applying them is another thing.It is said that middle school students in Shanghai China got the highest grades in PISA than many other foreign countries.Ironically,most Chinese students are lack creativity than their peer in those foreign countries.So that when Chinese students graduate from university,they tend to find regular and easy jobs like civil servants rather than challengeable and demanding jobs.That is to say,they give up to explore their potential to other distinct areas which may lead to greater success.
In short,I have shown that possessing creativity helps people better to be successful than knowledge.With creativity,people are able to listen to their inner voices and excavate their potential.
作者词汇基本功很好,学术词汇表达也比较恰当；作者应适量增加从句的使用量；全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用.
