作业帮雅思作文 请求高手批改
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雅思作文 请求高手批改
Topic:Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them.Education and training are better.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today,global society has been experiencing a great increase in criminal activity of nearly every kind,especially the astonishing rising rate of juvenile delinquency.In the meantime,however,the methods to punish or to save the criminals has sparked much debate.Some people insist the traditional solution which is that the police put them into prisons for a long time,while others assert that education and training are effective ways to reduce crimes.Personally,I believe that both ways should be combined organically to implement because they both have merits and shortcomings.
On the one hand,one of solutions to punish the criminals is to send them to prisons is necessary.Firstly,if someone commits a crime,like robbing or theft,they must get less social responsibilities.As for this phenomenon,these offenders should be sent to prisons to have a process of self-examination.Moreover,the threatening prisons have an influence on traumatising first-time offenders,which can reduce the probability of commoitting crimes a second time (again).But,in fact,a few prisoners may increase hatred of prison and revert to crime after being set free,which is more harmful to society.
However,on the other hand,education and training are more important.Firstly,it is obvious that it is a positive way to cultivate offenders to ge rid of crimes.They can learn a lot about crimes and harmfulness so they will not offend again.Secondly,education gives criminals the skills and techniques to find a job after they leave prisons.Only when they step onto the right way can the rate of crimes decrease.Lastly,not only do they obtain the skills but enhance the sense of their social responsibility,which can ensure they will not break laws any more and can make our society more peaceful,harmonious and quiet.
In conclusion,I agree to both arguments that not only put them into the prisons but also educate them.The purpose is quite simply and plainly that they need both reflection and education.Only in this way can they gain social acceptance once more.
请批改后给出可能得的分数,以及大侠的指导意见!
Topic:Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them.Education and training are better.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today,global society has been experiencing a great increase in criminal activity of nearly every kind,especially the astonishing rising rate of juvenile delinquency.In the meantime,however,the methods to punish or to save the criminals has sparked much debate.Some people insist the traditional solution which is that the police put them into prisons for a long time,while others assert that education and training are effective ways to reduce crimes.Personally,I believe that both ways should be combined organically to implement because they both have merits and shortcomings.
On the one hand,one of solutions to punish the criminals is to send them to prisons is necessary.Firstly,if someone commits a crime,like robbing or theft,they must get less social responsibilities.As for this phenomenon,these offenders should be sent to prisons to have a process of self-examination.Moreover,the threatening prisons have an influence on traumatising first-time offenders,which can reduce the probability of commoitting crimes a second time (again).But,in fact,a few prisoners may increase hatred of prison and revert to crime after being set free,which is more harmful to society.
However,on the other hand,education and training are more important.Firstly,it is obvious that it is a positive way to cultivate offenders to ge rid of crimes.They can learn a lot about crimes and harmfulness so they will not offend again.Secondly,education gives criminals the skills and techniques to find a job after they leave prisons.Only when they step onto the right way can the rate of crimes decrease.Lastly,not only do they obtain the skills but enhance the sense of their social responsibility,which can ensure they will not break laws any more and can make our society more peaceful,harmonious and quiet.
In conclusion,I agree to both arguments that not only put them into the prisons but also educate them.The purpose is quite simply and plainly that they need both reflection and education.Only in this way can they gain social acceptance once more.
请批改后给出可能得的分数,以及大侠的指导意见!
挺好的~跟据我周围同学考出的分数为参考~差不多6.5-7分吧
结构清晰,观点明确,用词丰富.英语方面,也没法改什么了~
但是,有个问题其实我想说下,无关英语.
就是这个题目,他想讨论的其实是当今世界普遍使用的两种刑罚体系,一为惩戒刑,以惩罚罪犯为主,用威慑力预防犯罪.另一种为教化刑,目的在于在监狱里改造犯人,使之出来后,能重新正常融入社会,以预防重复犯罪.（从某种程度上讲,类似劳改的概念）（更多资料,你可以在上网查查）
无论如何,其实像你所说,都会关起来的,关键是要不要教育.
雅思,至少我一直听说,少用“辩证”的语气写作文,即,两种我都同意又不同意.说卡的严的人,会不喜欢的.所以建议你,从结构上,能明确的支持一类.像我觉得你应该支持的是“教化刑”.那就多说说教化的好处和不教化的弊端吧~
结构清晰,观点明确,用词丰富.英语方面,也没法改什么了~
但是,有个问题其实我想说下,无关英语.
就是这个题目,他想讨论的其实是当今世界普遍使用的两种刑罚体系,一为惩戒刑,以惩罚罪犯为主,用威慑力预防犯罪.另一种为教化刑,目的在于在监狱里改造犯人,使之出来后,能重新正常融入社会,以预防重复犯罪.（从某种程度上讲,类似劳改的概念）（更多资料,你可以在上网查查）
无论如何,其实像你所说,都会关起来的,关键是要不要教育.
雅思,至少我一直听说,少用“辩证”的语气写作文,即,两种我都同意又不同意.说卡的严的人,会不喜欢的.所以建议你,从结构上,能明确的支持一类.像我觉得你应该支持的是“教化刑”.那就多说说教化的好处和不教化的弊端吧~