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哪位大哥能帮我找一篇比较搞笑无厘头的英语文章,最好有中文对照

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哪位大哥能帮我找一篇比较搞笑无厘头的英语文章,最好有中文对照
如果非常经典,我会给你反加100分
英文幽默:经典学英语-MM必须小心的五种man用英文怎么说,看看吧,hoho:
The guy you can't talk to,It's hard to see what's wrong with him.On the surface everything looks hunky-dory.But somehow you just can't talk to him about some important stuff.You're not yourself anymore when you're with him.The problem is that this kind of man may even have no clue about who you really are!
“话不投机型”的男人,是看不出他有什么地方不好的,表面上每件事看起来都很好,就是无法跟他谈一些重要的事,你跟他在一起时,你不再是自己.你真得很喜欢他,而他也没做错什么事.问题是,这种男人可能连真正的你是什么样子都不晓得!
与“游手好闲型”(the slacker)的男人刚认识的时候,一切都是很美好的(The very beginning of your relationship with him is great.).但认识久了,发现这种男人时间多的是,你们可以去shopping,去see a film,去吃pizza,他却总缺钱,每天吊儿郎当的.最终你会受不了他的(Eventually you still can't bear him.).知道吗?并不是他不爱你!只是对他而言,没有什么事值得他花大力气的(It's just that for him nothing's worth all that energy.).
情场骗子型 the cheat
假如你的男友暗地里(on the sly)金屋藏娇,他就是情场骗子(the cheat).你告诉他,他是个头号大笨蛋(a big-time fool),然后甩了他(to dump him),如果他告诉你他真得很对不起你,那么他当初为什么如此做呢?(If he said he's very sorry for you,why did he do it then?)看他最后一眼,给他一个甜美的微笑,对他说,"See ya!",然后,the end.