作业帮帮忙修改英语作文(限今天)
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：拍题作业网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/05/01 18:04:48
帮忙修改英语作文(限今天)
I'm very excited to learn that we are going to start a magazine together.All of us are looking forward to making contribution to it.
Take me for example,I have conciderable interested in these columns.Firstly,language class is worth great attention to us.Learning a language well can become the source of our future contentment.Furthemore,news of the week can make our horizons broadened.What's more,aumsement part will never fail to be our favorite column.We always consider amusement part as something that can add color to our life.Last but not least,the teachers' advice ,which have benificial impact on development of our learning skills and personal charctors.
In the whole,if you need more help,please call us.And we will spare no effort to make the magazine better.
I'm very excited to learn that we are going to start a magazine together.All of us are looking forward to making contribution to it.
Take me for example,I have conciderable interested in these columns.Firstly,language class is worth great attention to us.Learning a language well can become the source of our future contentment.Furthemore,news of the week can make our horizons broadened.What's more,aumsement part will never fail to be our favorite column.We always consider amusement part as something that can add color to our life.Last but not least,the teachers' advice ,which have benificial impact on development of our learning skills and personal charctors.
In the whole,if you need more help,please call us.And we will spare no effort to make the magazine better.
1. "learn"
-----After reading the whole piece, I was confused: Are you making an announcement or a comment? The second paragraph tells me this is a comment, but the last paragraph shows this is not. Hence, there is the problem of unity and coherence.
-----Read the first and the last paragraphs at once and you will feel something weird.
2. "are looking forward to making contribution"
-----The meaning gets across, but it is an awkward collocation.
3. "contribution"
-----"our contribution" would be more natural.
4. "I have conciderable interested in these columns."
-----It is "considerable".
-----Better to say "I have considerable interest in these (or: the following) columns."
5. "Firstly, language class is worth great attention to us."
-----If it is a column, why didn't you capitalize the initial letters?
-----It is more natural to say "worth our attention".
6. "Learning a language well can become the source of our future contentment."
-----Not the act of "learning" but the ultimate result of nailing down a language will be the source of future contentment. I reckon you are actually trying to say “A language well mastered will be a source of future contentment ”. I might be wrong, of course.
7. "..., news of the week..."
-----The name of a column, isn't it? The capitalization.
8. "can make our horizons broadened"
-----It would be more natural to say "can broaden our horizons".
9. "aumsement part"
-----It is "amusement" and, again, capitalization.
-----“Section” is preferable to “part” when we talk of magazines or newspapers.
10. "We always consider amusement part as something that can add color to our life."
-----"the amusement section";
-----“enrich our life” or “make our life more colorful” (nothing really wrong with your “add color to our life”).
-----More natural to say “We always believe amusement can… life.”
11. “Last but not least,the teachers' advice ,which have benificial impact on development of our learning skills and personal charctors.”
-----This is not a complete sentence.
-----There are several words misspelled.
-----“the development”
-----Do away with the space before the comma and put one after the comma.
12. "Last but not least,the teachers' advice, ..."
-----You can use the cliché “last but not least”.
-----"Teacher's Advice".
13. "...which have benificial impact on development of our learning skills"
-----"...which will have" or at least "which has", but the latter is obviously not as good.
-----It is “beneficial”.
-----More natural: “…which will help with/contribute to the development of our learning skills”
14. "and personal charctors"
-----It is "character".
-----A bit Chinese here because character building is none of the business of any school in western education.
15. "In the whole, ..."
-----We say "On the whole", which was used in a very unnatural way here. Do away with it.
16. "...if you need more help,please call us."
-----Why did you say "...if you need more help"? You say this unless this piece of writing is here to offer help to your readers.
-----There should be a space after the comma.
17. "And we will spare no effort to make the magazine better."
-----There is nothing really wrong with this individual sentence in terms of grammar, but native speakers will normally not write this to end a piece of this type.
-----A grammatically perfect sentence may be a bad one in the wrong context.
-----This sentence is not consistent with the first sentence of the whole piece.
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There are as many errors as the original in the following arrangement by 花果山个人160:
I'm very excited to learn that we are going to start a magazine together. All of us are looking forward to making contribution to it.
Take me for example,I have conciderable interest （这块应该是名词 所以interested去ed）in these columns. Firstly, Language Cass is very attractive(这里worth great attention不对) to us. Learning a language well can become the source of our future development（个人觉得development比contentment好）. Furthemore, News of the Week can broaden our horizons（不要用什么make broaden）. What's more,Aumsement(不理解这个单词 你是不是想写Amusement啊) part will never fail to be our favorite column. We always consider amusement （的确 之前那单词写错了）part as something that can add color to our life. Last but not least,the teachers' advice ,which have a (应该要加a的 have an impact on 固定搭配)benificial impact on development of our learning skills and personal charctors.
In a(the不对 总而言之用a的) whole,if you need more help,please call us. And we will spare no effort to make the magazine better.
-----After reading the whole piece, I was confused: Are you making an announcement or a comment? The second paragraph tells me this is a comment, but the last paragraph shows this is not. Hence, there is the problem of unity and coherence.
-----Read the first and the last paragraphs at once and you will feel something weird.
2. "are looking forward to making contribution"
-----The meaning gets across, but it is an awkward collocation.
3. "contribution"
-----"our contribution" would be more natural.
4. "I have conciderable interested in these columns."
-----It is "considerable".
-----Better to say "I have considerable interest in these (or: the following) columns."
5. "Firstly, language class is worth great attention to us."
-----If it is a column, why didn't you capitalize the initial letters?
-----It is more natural to say "worth our attention".
6. "Learning a language well can become the source of our future contentment."
-----Not the act of "learning" but the ultimate result of nailing down a language will be the source of future contentment. I reckon you are actually trying to say “A language well mastered will be a source of future contentment ”. I might be wrong, of course.
7. "..., news of the week..."
-----The name of a column, isn't it? The capitalization.
8. "can make our horizons broadened"
-----It would be more natural to say "can broaden our horizons".
9. "aumsement part"
-----It is "amusement" and, again, capitalization.
-----“Section” is preferable to “part” when we talk of magazines or newspapers.
10. "We always consider amusement part as something that can add color to our life."
-----"the amusement section";
-----“enrich our life” or “make our life more colorful” (nothing really wrong with your “add color to our life”).
-----More natural to say “We always believe amusement can… life.”
11. “Last but not least,the teachers' advice ,which have benificial impact on development of our learning skills and personal charctors.”
-----This is not a complete sentence.
-----There are several words misspelled.
-----“the development”
-----Do away with the space before the comma and put one after the comma.
12. "Last but not least,the teachers' advice, ..."
-----You can use the cliché “last but not least”.
-----"Teacher's Advice".
13. "...which have benificial impact on development of our learning skills"
-----"...which will have" or at least "which has", but the latter is obviously not as good.
-----It is “beneficial”.
-----More natural: “…which will help with/contribute to the development of our learning skills”
14. "and personal charctors"
-----It is "character".
-----A bit Chinese here because character building is none of the business of any school in western education.
15. "In the whole, ..."
-----We say "On the whole", which was used in a very unnatural way here. Do away with it.
16. "...if you need more help,please call us."
-----Why did you say "...if you need more help"? You say this unless this piece of writing is here to offer help to your readers.
-----There should be a space after the comma.
17. "And we will spare no effort to make the magazine better."
-----There is nothing really wrong with this individual sentence in terms of grammar, but native speakers will normally not write this to end a piece of this type.
-----A grammatically perfect sentence may be a bad one in the wrong context.
-----This sentence is not consistent with the first sentence of the whole piece.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
There are as many errors as the original in the following arrangement by 花果山个人160:
I'm very excited to learn that we are going to start a magazine together. All of us are looking forward to making contribution to it.
Take me for example,I have conciderable interest （这块应该是名词 所以interested去ed）in these columns. Firstly, Language Cass is very attractive(这里worth great attention不对) to us. Learning a language well can become the source of our future development（个人觉得development比contentment好）. Furthemore, News of the Week can broaden our horizons（不要用什么make broaden）. What's more,Aumsement(不理解这个单词 你是不是想写Amusement啊) part will never fail to be our favorite column. We always consider amusement （的确 之前那单词写错了）part as something that can add color to our life. Last but not least,the teachers' advice ,which have a (应该要加a的 have an impact on 固定搭配)benificial impact on development of our learning skills and personal charctors.
In a(the不对 总而言之用a的) whole,if you need more help,please call us. And we will spare no effort to make the magazine better.