英语翻译1,Do not argue with an idiot.He will drag you down to hi

英语翻译
1,Do not argue with an idiot.He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2,The last thing I want to do is hurt you.But it’s still on the list.
3,If sex is a pain in the ass,then you’re doing it wrong…
4,Having sex is like playing bridge.If you don’t have a good partner,you’d better have a good hand.
5,Women might be able to fake orgasms.But men can fake a whole relationship.
6,Men have two emotions:Hungry and Horny.If you see him without an erection,make him a sandwich.
7,Sex is not the answer.Sex is the question.“Yes” is the answer.
8,If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
9,I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
10,Children:You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
11,Laugh at your problems,everybody else does.
12,
The voices in my head may not be real,but they have some good ideas!
13,Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
14,Virginity is like a soapbubble,one prick and it is gone.
15,I asked God for a bike,but I know God doesn’t work that way.So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
一定要把我这15句翻译出来,

1 不要通傻13争吵,他会让你堕落到和他一样的层次,用它一如既往的赖皮经验打败你
2 我最不想做的事就是伤害你,但是你不要逼我
3 如果你做爱做的事时候菊花疼,那么你是用错了方式
4 做爱就如同打桥牌,如果你没有一个优秀的同伴,那你最好有以上灵活的手
5 女人也许能够在高潮的时候作假,但是男人能在整个交往关系中作假
6 男人有两种情感需求：饥饿与性冲动（食‘性）,你若见他没勃起,那就给他做一个三明治
7 做爱不是回答,而是问题,“是”才是回答
8 如果五个人有四个饱受拉肚子的痛苦,那意味着剩下的一个也要加入他们吗?
9 我看到一个女人穿着汗水阴透的衬衫,上面印着“猜”,那么我该说“灌溉”?
10 孩子们：你们花了他们生命中的头两年教他们行走和说话,那么你将花费接下来十六年的时间来教他们站起来跟坐下
11 笑话你的毛病,别人也跟着笑话
12 我头脑里的声音或许不是真的,但他们也许有些想法
13 好女孩就是那些抓不到的坏女孩
14 处女膜就像肥皂泡,一戳就没
15 我想上帝请求给我一辆自行车,但是我知道那天上帝没上班.所以我偷了一辆再向上帝祈求宽恕