马上要四级考试了,自己写了一篇作文,但是不知道哪里错了,

马上要四级考试了,自己写了一篇作文,但是不知道哪里错了,
Skipping Classes(逃课)
Are you a college student,if you are not,you may see the situation that many and many students like to skip class,why the situation appear,As i am a college student,From my perspective,college's discipline is much width,once student is lack of discipline,That situation may appear easily.it result in some students like to skip classes and do other thing.
As a student,It is well known that skipping classes is not a good habit,not only it lead to students ability decline,but also have some negative effect about students future,if students want a better life,they must do little thing right under our noses and never skip classes.
In my view,as being a current college student,we should bear heavy responsibility to developing our society and make a great of contribution to the society,only in this way that can we adapt the future jobs and society!
自己写的,但是不知道哪里错了,哪里要修改,想请好心人说说,免得在考试里又犯错误,我也不知道写这篇作文的功底能不能过四级考试,没有多大信心呀!,
真心希望你的帮助,一点小分还请笑纳,

以下是我写的和你写的之间的对比,我的在每句话后的括号里.
Skipping Classes(逃课)
Are you a college student, if you are not,you may see the situation that many and many students like to skip class. (Are you a college student? If you are not, you may see that many students like to skip classes.) why the situation appear,As i am a college student.From my perspective,college's discipline is much width,once student is lack of discipline,That situation may appear easily.(From my perspective as a college student, I think this situation occurs because of the lack of discipline.) it result in some students like to skip classes and do other thing.(It is because the discipline is so loose that some students choose to skip classes and do other things.)
As a student,It is well known that skipping classes is not a good habit, (As a student, we all know that skipping classes is not a good habit.) not only it lead to students ability decline,but also have some negative effect about students future, (Not only does it lead to decline in academic skills, but it has some negative effects on the student's future as well) if students want a better life,they must do little thing right under our noses and never skip classes. (If the students wish to live a better life, they must first perform well in little tasks right under their noses - including attending classes.)
In my view,as being a current college student,we should bear heavy responsibility to developing our society and make a great of contribution to the society,only in this way that can we adapt the future jobs and society! (As a current college student, in my opinion, we should take on the responsibilities of developing our society and make a great contribution to the community; only this way can help us adapt to the jobs and society that faces us in the future.)
你的词汇和拼写还是不错的.需要注意的是一些比较小的语法问题和表达方式.要在写作时尽量多多考虑一下“这个语法是不是这么用的?”.至于表达方式的纠正就比较困难一点,只有平时多读读外国的文章,学习他们的表达习惯.祝你考得好啊!