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麻烦高人修改下雅思作文,评评分,提提建议哈!

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麻烦高人修改下雅思作文,评评分,提提建议哈!
To start with,I must admit that changes are always inevitable in life and provide challenges to life,which make one fulfilled and energetic throughout the tedious world.However,there are still a majority of individuals,including me,who prefer doing the same things and avoiding change.Here come the following reasons to support my view.
First,doing the same things requires proficiency,which comes from one’s talent and patience rather than repeatable techniques.We cannot accomplish a high quality task without skills gained during daily improved same manufacture.Second,concentrating on the same things does not mean avoiding progress,but much more things taken into consideration to enhance the work quality.As we know more detailed about the thing,more problems can be found,thus requires us come up with more relevant solutions.
On the contrary,changes,especially frequent changes,are not always good but make new environment for us to adapt to.Some may find it easy,but for the most,frustration and failure are their friends at that period.Those who cannot immediately adjust themselves to the change may find them unrecognized or unwelcome in new surroundings,which will also let down their work efficiency and life enthusiasm.More pathetically,changes usually bring bad consequences rather than the planned good results,due to the wrongly performed and poorly conducted.
Of course,we cannot deny some benefits brought by great changes,from the discovery of fire to the application of electricity,all the way to the widely used internet,which lead us to a higher standard life and the information age.However,there changes came out with great minds and huge risks.
Topic:Some people prefer to spend their living doing the same things and avoiding change.Others,however,think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
7分 please pay attention to your choice of words. Some of them are not specific enough. Another problem is the unity of address. Try to avoid using "i" or "we", which indicates personal ideas.