英文作文改正这是一篇我写的动物的小论文,要交上去平凡,但是其中有很多不足的地方,我自己又不知道在哪,欢迎大家来找茬!Po

英文作文改正
这是一篇我写的动物的小论文,要交上去平凡,但是其中有很多不足的地方,我自己又不知道在哪,欢迎大家来找茬!
Polar bear
Draft:
Polar bears are one of the largest carnivores in the world; their fur is thicker than any other bears.It even covers their feet while provide warmth and traction on the ice.After a period of molting,their fur will change color from pure white to a yellowish shade.They also have black skin,nose,lips and a long neck.In the natural course of events,adult males can reach 550-1700 lbs and females can reach 200-700 lbs in weight,and grow up to 8 to 10 feet tall.The oldest polar bear,as far as people know,had lived 45 years.estimated that there are between 20,000 and 25,000 polar bears in the world.
2location +diet
The most important habitat for polar bears is the edge of the pack ice in the Arctic.Throughout this region which includes Alaska,Canada,and Russia,etc.Polar bears travel the majority of time throughout the year in search of prey,which consists mainly of ringed seals and bearded seals.
3 behaviour (reproduction)
Polar bears exhibit several different aspects of behavior.Firstly they are usually active at the start and end of a day.In the Canadian Arctic,adult female polar bear spend much of their time during spring and summary,while adult male polar bears hunt.When not hunting,bears often spend long periods resting and sleeping.It is worth mentioning that when they have a sleep; polar bears curl up and cover their muzzle area on cold days to protect themselves.Of course,human beings also need to notice that,bears,especially mother bears,usually attack humans when they are hungry and they have to feed their young.

Draft:
Polar bears are one of the largest carnivores in the world,with a fur thicker than any other bear.Their fur is what protects their feet by providing warmth and traction why they are on the ice.After a period of molting,the polar bears' fur will change color,from a pure white to a shade of yellow.These bears also have black skin,a nose,lips,and a long neck.In natue,adult males can reach anywhere betwen 500 to 1700 pounds,and females can reach 200 to 700 pounds,while reching a height from about 8 to 10 feet tall.The oldest polar bear,as far as anyone knows,lived for 45 years,and estimates show that there are currently between 20,000 to 25,000 polar bears in the world.
2.location + diet:
The most important habitat for polar bears is the edge of the pack ice in the Arctic,a regon which includes Alaska,Canada,Russia,and various other countries.Polar spend the majority of their time throughout the year traveling in search of prey,animals like ringed seals and bearded seals.
3.Behavior + reproduction:
Polar bears exhibit several different behabiors.First (英文里没有 firstly 这种说法的）,they are usually most active and the beginning and end of each day.In the Canadian Arctic,adult female polar bears spend much of their time during the spring and summer in their caves,while the adult male polar bears hunt.When not hunting,these bears often spend long period resting and sleeping.It is also worth mentioning that when they do sleep,polar bears tend to curl up and covertheir muzzle area to protect themselves,both from the cold,and from other predators.Polar bears are also very protective of their young,and will attack humans if they are hungry and are in search of food to feed their young.
帮你把一些语法错误改了一下,然后把句子的顺序也改了改.
有些词也给你换掉了.现在整个作文更通了～