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英语(请大家帮我看看是否有语病)

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:拍题作业网作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/04/28 14:43:08
英语(请大家帮我看看是否有语病)
Hello,everyone!My name is Longjie.I’m 13 years old.I’m in Class10,Grade7.I live in Nanjing.I like Nanjing very much.I’m not very tall,but I like playing basketball.I have short black hair.I love surfing the Internet.I often surfing the Internet at the weekend.I want to be a teacher.If I realIy became a teacher.I will try my best to teach the students new knowledge.This is my dream.
Hello,everyone!My name is Longjie.I’m 13 years old.I’m in Class10,Grade7.I live in Nanjing.I like Nanjing very much.I’m not very tall,but I like playing basketball.I have short black hair.I love surfing the Internet.I often surf the Internet at the weekend.I want to be a teacher.If I realIy become a teacher,I will try my best to teach the students the new knowledge.This is my dream.
If I realIy became a teacher.I will try my best to teach the students new knowledge.
这句话总觉得有点儿毛病,If条件状语从句,动词一定要用原型,应该用become.really加不加都行,还是去掉吧,加上语感不顺.还有就是一楼二楼说的,其实最好还是把两句话变换位置,舒服些.语病应该是没了,但短文有点儿上下连接不顺,自己再稍微改一下好了