作文 崔(作文)

In the picture we can find a father who looked nervous looking for his boy. But it is difficult for him to do that, for the street is full of cyber center, so he can hardly know where his boy is. Thosedays, there are a lot of cyber center turn up in our city, It gives us a large challenge whether we should close them or let them go on. As we can see ,the internet gives us lots of help and more and more teenagers attracted by the online games. What should we do. What I want to say is that government ought to close some cyber center, developing others.. Those thing can give a good environment to teens. 25能的多少分,请老师认真评改下,谢谢

解题思路： 思路顺畅 表达完整 语言很精彩 如果书写整洁漂亮 可以得 23分
解题过程：
In the picture we can find a father who looked nervous looking for his boy. But it is difficult for him to do that, for the street is full of cyber center, so he can hardly know where his boy is.
Thosedays, there are a lot of cyber center turn up in our city, It gives us a large challenge whether we should close them or let them go on. As we can see ,the internet gives us lots of help and more and more teenagers attracted by the online games. What should we do. What I want to say is that government ought to close some cyber center, developing others.. Those thing can give a good environment to teens.
1.is full of cyber center,----is full of cyber centers,
2.Thosedays, there are a lot of cyber center turn up in our city,
---In these days, there are a lot of cyber centers turning up in our city,
1）In these days 这些天
2）turning up in our city
there be 句型中 已经有了一个动词 are, 另一动词出现时 不能再用原形了，所以此处用分词作定语
3.a large challenge ---a big / great challenge
4.What I want to say is that government ought to close some cyber center, developing others..
---What I want to say is that the government ought to close some cyber centers and develop other businesses..
1)the government 政府 固定用法 加the;
2) ought to do ...and do... and 连接的两动词形式要一致
3）others = other + 前面提到的名词（这里= other cyber centers）,所以意思不合适
5.Those thing --- In my opinion , these things ....
最终答案：略