雅思作文修改～Some people believe that scientific research should b

雅思作文修改～
Some people believe that scientific research should be conducted by the government instead of private companies.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the rapid development of science and technology,the scientific research has bacome a gradually important issue.However,whether it should be conducted by the government or by the private companies forms a disputed topic.In my opinion,both of them take up different advantages.
Conducting the scientific reseach needs not only a great deal of maney,but also a group of people with professional knowledge and high level of intelligence.From my point of view,companies and the government can both reach this standard,while the scientific research is not easy to be conducted.
In the one hand,companies do experiments only in order to make more profits from improving their products,caring nothing about the development of the country.For instance,a beverage company will never try utmost to research nuclear,vice versa.A deep gap can be seen between the research of the government and private companies.
In the other hand,private companies still have some connections with the government in the aspect of pollution.The paper manufacturers are good example.Every day the waste from the factories is dumped into nearby rivers is one of the root causes of environmental pollution.Due to the waste coming from private companies,companies should be responsible for cleaning the polluted rivers.Meanwhile,companies should do some researches to prevent rivers from being polluted by the waste.
To sum up,the scientific research can be conducted by the government and private companies seperately.If both of them can join hands in conducting the research and solving the problems,maybe the progress of development will be more rapid.（希望能给我打个分数 然后详细的说说我的缺点不足的地方 好的话 我会加分给你的!）

同学 我不晓得现在的雅思和我高中时候的雅思有没有什么变化
但是喃你这篇文章不容易得高分哦 从第一段就看得出来了
雅思的大作文都是这种 给你个话题喊你说你同意还是不同意
注意!是do you agree or disagree哈 所以最好的做法就是
在第一段明确的说出你是agree还是disagree
然后再在后面的段落说to what extent
每段只能包括一个主题 并且开头都要用一个topic sentence
来说明你这段主要说的是啥子
最后总结一下,注意!总结这部分一定要再次强调agree还是disagree哈
我上了雅思 但是最后没去考 不过给我们上雅思的外教给我的作文分数一直都是7分
还有我给你说的这些是英语作文的通用格式
不管你是考雅思托福还是公共英语专业英语 作文都要按这样写才得的倒高分
下面就看下你的细节问题哈：
maney?打错了 money吧
companies and the government can both reach this standard,while the scientific research is not easy to be conducted.
这句话不咋个好 我感觉有歧义
caring nothing about the development of the country前面加个but
For instance,a beverage company will never try utmost to research nuclear,vice versa这例子举得不好 没有说服力 如果实在举不出来最好不要举 不然还会扣分
还有很严重的一点,应该是on one hand,on the other hand哈 这种太明显了 会扣很多分的
The paper manufacturers are good example.example是可数的 加s 主谓宾要一致了嘛
Every day the waste from the factories is dumped into nearby rivers is one of the root causes of environmental pollution.这句话有语法错误哦 你要把前面的句改成从句或者分词结构That every day the waste from the factories is dumped into nearby rivers is one of the root causes of environmental pollution.或者Every day the waste from the factories dumped into nearby rivers is one of the root causes of environmental pollution.
Due to the waste coming from private companies,companies should be responsible for cleaning the polluted rivers.due to 不能这家用哦 虽然它是表原因 但是你这个句子用它不好As the waste coming from private companies,they should be responsible for cleaning the polluted rivers.
重复出现的东西最好用代词 特别是在同一个句子头 这样才符合英语的习惯
以上仅供参考哈 分我就不打了
我前面不是就已经给你说了吗?按照那种通用格式写
然后注意不要有语法错误就行了
其实要求并不高的