作业帮帮我看下这篇高考英语作文可以得多少分（25分满分）顺便解析下
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：拍题作业网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/05/17 10:30:09
Great Changes
I am deeply impressed by the great changes that have taken place in the school over the past three years.
After the quake, nearly all of the things of the school was in ruins.But at present,there are a great many of modern equipments in the school . For instance,the government of Si chuan invested a great deal of money to help the
school to build the new gymnasium and the Mutimedia classrooms in 2008. And,some other businessmans in community also spent a lot of money on the modern teaching buildings in 2009 .Now,many teachers and students in the school is stronger and full of more happiness than before.
As how I see it, The terrible disaster later, our landsmans always hope that not all hope was lost,and only with our efforts can we defeat all of the difficulties,that is the reason why great changes took place in the school
但是有一些错误喔或者可以更正的地方
1.nearly all of the things of the school was in ruins这句胡 可以去掉第一个OF 这样显得更简约 而且后面那个of the school的定语作用显得更明显
2.But at present.这个转折不恰当 可以改为 as time goes by,a great many modern equipments have been built in the school 因为a great many 直接修饰可数名字的复数形式
3. help the school to build 去掉to 比较正式
4.full of more happiness 这句话典型的中式英语了 LZ是不是想翻译成充满更多的幸福? 去掉more较好
5.our landsmans always hope 将hope改为过去式
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