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谁能帮我改下以下这段英文的语法错误?

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:拍题作业网作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/05/21 02:57:04
谁能帮我改下以下这段英文的语法错误?
With increasing year by year the number of vocational graduates,more and more people are concerned about the employment situation of vocational students and positioning,in order to better understand the situation of vocational graduates and graduates of the ideal employment situation and employment in the problems of society conducted a survey of College Graduates.in according to the quedtionaires,network and repots,I have learnd that Employment is a wide variety of vocational students,the employment impact of all aspects of the situation by,like society,the students themselves and their families and schools.After an investigation,has most of the employment or vocational high school students on their work environment and state that has a good attitude,those who have no job due to various reasons students do not find their own jobs.For College Graduates and the complexity of the issues of employment,schools,students and parents all have some problems,should take effective measures,according to the actual situation of positioning.
说实话,你写的太.费了好大劲(一部分根据我对文章的个人理解,绝大部分保留了原文)
修改如下:
(1)With year by year the number of vocational graduates increasing,more and more people are concerned about the employment situation of vocational students and positioning(2.有机械定位的意思,觉得这里不适用),(3.尖括号部分很纠结,读不通,我没做修改,建议不要用这种长的句子,尤其是对句子结构把握不好的情况下),(4.此处加了一个逗号,)society conducted a survey of College Graduates.
(5)According to the quedtionaires,network and repots,I have learnd that (Employment) is (a wide variety of vocational students)此处Employment是students?,
the employment impact of (6.改为on)all aspects of the situation (7.去掉by),like(8.用such as较好) society,the students themselves and their families and schools.After an investigation,(9.has的主语呢?)has most of the employment or vocational high school students on their work environment and (10.state的主语呢?)state that has a good attitude,those who have no job due to various reasons (11.去掉students) do not find their own jobs.根据我对你写的massage的理解,尖括号部分简略如下:Given the complexity of the issues of employment,schools,students and parents all have some problems,and should take effective measures.
建议如下:尽量用简短的句子,太拗口了给人的感觉不好.
尽量用自己熟悉的词汇,不懂的词汇理解后正确用到句子中才管用.
尽量不要赘述.