我写好了一篇关于蓝牙的英语作文,哪位英语高手帮我修改一下,明天就要交了,急!谢谢啦!

我写好了一篇关于蓝牙的英语作文,哪位英语高手帮我修改一下,明天就要交了,急!谢谢啦!
Bluetooth technology's future
nowadays bluetooth technology is not strange to us, in our telephones and computers
it can be seen anywhere.
A bluetooth connection is wireless and automatic,and it only connection the
Next level by removing.So what the future of Bluetooth technology? I think it
Would have three alter .Firstly, as the technology develop , it would be remote control,
.secondly, it has cover our daily lives more aspect, not only on the telephones and computuers
,maybe it can be connect the television or radio. Thirdly, i think the bluetooth technology
Is common to everyone so that not only the children but also the older can use it.
The bluetooth technology have a very great develop space, if only we can enhance
The rate of technology, i believe it have a bright future is waiting us.

Bluetooth technology's future
nowadays bluetooth technology is not strange to us,in our telephones and computers
it can be seen anywhere.
(nowadays bluetooth has gained more popurlarity as it can be seen everywhere such as in our telephones and computers这样感觉更连贯通顺)
A bluetooth connection is wireless and automatic,and it only connection（connect这需要动词） the
Next level by removing（这是什么意思?表达不清）.So what the future of Bluetooth technology?
（个人认为这里说未来怎么样不恰当,应该直接说他有怎么样的发展空间,比如说有三项值得改进的地方,比如说语音控制,更方便人们使用.Firstly,It brings people convenience as it's able to be easily controled by human voice.然后来举个例子old people and the disables could take good care of themselves,speaking to the machine.）
I think it would have three alter .Firstly,as the technology develop ,it would be remote control,
.secondly,it has cover our daily lives more aspect,not only on the telephones and computuers
,maybe it can be connect the television or radio.Thirdly,i think the bluetooth technology
Is common to everyone so that not only the children but also the older can use it.
The bluetooth technology have a very great develop space,if only we can enhance
The rate of technology,i believe it have a bright future is waiting us.
（第二第三点在说明观点 举例说明.这样文章更有条理 更清晰 更有说服力）
（你有连词的使用 倾向去使用复杂句,这都很好很有语言的感觉,然而还不够熟练,当然还需要你更多的努力,