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为创新英语大赛复赛练的两篇作文,求高手修改,24号早上6点半之前给满分

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为创新英语大赛复赛练的两篇作文,求高手修改,24号早上6点半之前给满分
Directions:We can be sure that most people have experienced failure and success.Most often,when we are successful we are happy.If we fail,we are sad.Now,you are asked to write an essay on the topic of Failure and Success.You can give some examples and facts to support your opinion.Your essay should be written in English with on less than 300 words within 60 minutes.
Dear son,
Success,my dear son,i'm your mother Failure.there is long time since we met last time.how is it going?i think everything around you now must be satisfying,but whenever it is,you mustn't forget me becaouse your life is given by me.
You r Success,my glory.Everyone adore u.Everyone try to reach u.However,i seem to be not that nice,so how can i become your mother?it's not luck,but my attemps.When i was third-class—i mean when u wasn't born,i didn't give up to achieve my dream .i stronly believe that every dog has its day.i tried my best on daily routine and i put my heart into every day life.just like the great musician beethoven,i would clutch the throat of my fate.things might not get better,but instead of complaining,i accept everything with smiles and try for one more time.yes,again and again.do you know edison?he hug failure for two thousands times before he invented the light bulb.i underwent great pain while giving birth to u.at that time,a word said bu napoleon was in my ears-"never give up,never!never give up,never,never!never give up,never,never,never!"thanks to my strong-willed heart and hard work,u could become member of such a colorful world.
u have grown into a perfect man.is Failure mother useful to you now?definitely she is.flowersans claps may make you feel too high ,which is not benidicial.i must warn u of my previous hardship and tell u to be modest.u know,life id limeted,but knowledge is limitless.there is still a long way for u to go.
whatever challenges you,don't be afraid.remember i am the root of confidence and power,because i am your mother,Failure.
落款,大写来不及了。单词有打错的也有写错的。标点符号是照我原文打的。感觉这篇新颖但论证力度不够。抒情太多,废话太多。不过仔细品味思路还是比较清晰的。创新英语到底顾不鼓励这样的文体啊,好像风险很大,还有一篇风格完全不同,就是很规矩的议论,但本人英语水平实在有限,议论的非常之平庸。不知道参加复赛是不是该这样保险点?打不下了,最好同一个高手改。时间很紧呐.
不过我想提醒您哦,-ing是使人
虽然被打击了,哎我第一次写300字的作文。而且我觉得啊每次都是中心论点,然后firstly secondly..thirdlyin conclusion好无趣。而且我一开篇就点明啦失败成功之母,然后写为什么,怎样才能。不过我很欣赏您写的。我也觉得我说EDISON说的太略了,后天比赛会规矩写的,现在水平还是太低了,参赛也只是积累经验吧。如果您看到我提问的另一篇也帮着改改就好了。我那时还没学英语
3楼。没话说
其实平时天天为高考,也没什么机会练这种作文。尽吾志也而不能至者,可以无悔矣。
看你写你应该是初中生或者高中生低年级,你写的这篇绝对别用,别说没提醒你,用这篇你会死的很惨,翻译成中文后完全就是小学一二年级的水平,You can give some examples and facts to support your opinion.你里面没列子也没事实.让你写成功和失败的话题不是让你东拉西扯,说成功怎样失败怎样,你上面这篇就是,根本没思路的,写英语作文首先要有中心思想,段首要有thesis statement,比如这篇文章你可以说失败让人成功,观点很简单,failure is the gateway to success接下来就开始分几方面阐述这个观点
failure,of which most people are afraid,is commonly thought to be the wicked evil that anyone avid for success want to avoid.however,the opposite seems to be ture to me.it acts as the light which navigates me through all the obstacles and hardships on my way to success.without experiencing failure i dont even stand a chance of knowing where the success lies.as the saying goes failure is the mother of success.i hold a firm view that failure is the only way to success.
firstly.
secondly.
thirdly.
in conclusion.