托福作文修改,Do u agree that there are fewer cars 20 years later?I

托福作文修改,
Do u agree that there are fewer cars 20 years later?
I agree with the argument that there will be fewer cars in the future than today.Many reasons serve to contribute to the factor that number of cars will decrease gradually 20 years later,and I will present my views into 3 different aspects in a detailed explanation in this essay to solidify it.
To begin with,it is essential to notice the significance of technology.As it is known to us all,technology always plays an instrumental part in the advancement of society.Frankly speaking,cars are actually the inventions of modern technology due to the fast-paced innovations in science.Today,our cars have already made a huge leap in appearance,functions compared to the era when Karl Benz invented the first car in human's history.So,there is no doubt that cars will continue to develop in this non-stagnant improvement of technology.When technology eventually paves its way into a turning point,new staffs begin to emerge,that is something we,as humans have long imagined about flying machines which may eventually take the place of cars.
Another factor lies in the consequence of environment.Environment has actually turned into an alarming issue for humankind since the revolution of industry.We are slowly evoked by the fact that Mother Nature is suffering from serious pollution problems as well as shortages in natural resources.Cars are the one to blame since tons of carbon dioxide are emitted by them every year .When we've raised the awareness of the serious situation our nature is facing,we may take other transportation such as bicycles as a substitute to cars.
Also,I need to point out that cars rely on oil,and oil-drilling is becoming one of the most difficult things to do due to the decline and rareness in oil resources.Therefore,there is a possibility that 20 years later many countries will be in a great demand of oil.In the meantime,the price of oil will continue to rise exponentially,which will become less affordable to many people so that the numbers of cars may become smaller.
All in all ,I am in favor of the point that there will be fewer cars 20 years later as all the issues I 've mentioned in the essay above.

24分上下浮动
再问： 请问怎么才能在此基础上完善？

或者说我的这篇文章缺点在哪里？
再答： 本文无语法、拼写错误，结构比较流畅，可见作者的基础还是比较扎实的。

不足的地方主要集中在：①论据较为单一，且有点枯燥；②句子结构比较一般，没有一定量的高级结构