四人英语剧本.中英文对照的.不一定经典,只要好就OK了...

四人英语剧本.中英文对照的.不一定经典,只要好就OK了...

101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version) [Scene:Central Perk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,and Monica are there.] Monica:There's nothing to tell!He's just some guy I work with!Joey:C'mon,you're going out with the guy!There's gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler:All right Joey,be nice.So does he have a hump?A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe:Wait,does he eat chalk?(They all stare,bemused.) Phoebe:Just,'cause,I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica:Okay,everybody relax.This is not even a date.It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler:Sounds like a date to me.[Time Lapse] Chandler:Alright,so I'm back in high school,I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria,and I realize I am totally naked.All:Oh,yeah.Had that dream.Chandler:Then I look down,and I realize there's a phone...there.Joey:Instead of...Chandler:That's right.Joey:Never had that dream.Phoebe:No.Chandler:All of a sudden,the phone starts to ring.Now I don't know what to do,everybody starts looking at me.Monica:And they weren't looking at you before?!Chandler:Finally,I figure I'd better answer it,and it turns out it's my mother,which is very-very weird,because- she never calls me![Time Lapse,Ross has entered.] Ross:(mortified) Hi.Joey:This guy says hello,I wanna kill myself.Monica:Are you okay,sweetie?Ross:I just feel like someone reached down my throat,grabbed my small intestine,pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...Chandler:Cookie?Monica:(explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.Joey:Ohh.Monica:(to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross:Thanks.Phoebe:Ooh!Oh!(She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.) Ross:No,no don't!Stop cleansing my aura!No,just leave my aura alone,okay?Phoebe:Fine!Be murky!Ross:I'll be fine,alright?Really,everyone.I hope she'll be very happy.Monica:No you don't.Ross:No I don't,to hell with her,she left me!Joey:And you never knew she was a lesbian...Ross:No!Okay?!Why does everyone keep fixating on that?She didn't know,how should I know?Chandler:Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...(They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross:I told mom and dad last night,they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica:Oh really,so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M.,"I'll never have grandchildren,I'll never have grandchildren." was what?A wrong number?Ross:Sorry.Joey:Alright Ross,look.You're feeling a lot of pain right now.You're angry.You're hurting.Can I tell you what the answer is?(Ross gestures his consent.) Joey:Strip joint!C'mon,you're single!Have some hormones!Ross:I don't want to be single,okay?I just...I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.) Chandler:And I just want a million dollars!(He extends his hand hopefully.) Monica:Rachel?!Rachel:Oh God Monica hi!Thank God!I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are,you are!Waitress:Can I get you some coffee?Monica:(pointing at Rachel) De-caff.(to All) Okay,everybody,this is Rachel,another Lincoln High survivor.(to Rachel) This is everybody,this is Chandler,and Phoebe,and Joey,and- you remember my brother Ross?Rachel:Hi,sure!Ross:Hi.(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens.He sits back down defeated again.A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.) Monica:So you wanna tell us now,or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?Rachel:Oh God...well,it started about a half hour before the wedding.I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,and I was looking at this gravy boat.This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat.When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!And then I got really freaked out,and that's when it hit me:how much Barry looks like Mr.Potato Head.Y'know,I mean,I always knew looked familiar,but...Anyway,I just had to get out of there,and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this,and who am I doing this for?'.(to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go,and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.Monica:Who wasn't invited to the wedding.Rachel:Ooh,I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...[Scene:Monica's Apartment,everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on