作业帮雅思作文task2批改评分
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雅思作文task2批改评分
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational,otherwise they are a complete waste of time.Do you agree or disagree?
In the present age,the issue of how children can spend their leisure time is increasingly disturbing.Some people argue that their leisure time should be educated.Personally,I agree with their view,but I would qualify it to some extent.
It is apparent that teaching children how to use their free time effectly plays a pivotal role in their growth.To begin with,the children will acquire more knowledge after study.Their teachers or parents can use this method ,not only to let them understand some useful information,but also can relax their minds and ease their minds.Therefore,this is a good way to improve themselves.Moreover,this method can save much time for children.As the student's studies are becoming increasingly harder,they should dedicate on their study.Therefore,they have less time to broaden their horizons.Additionally,educating children when they are free can also help their studying - that is to say,when they studying in the future,they can use these information,and their study will be more efficient.
Besides,some indlvlduals thlnk that this is their right to distribute their free time.The main reason ls that every body has his or her right to do things,especially for the children.When they finished their homeworks,the children should play more to relax themselves,not to teach them again.Nonetheless,as many children cannot control themselves today,we should introduce them to play.As a matter of fact,the children will receive more,provided that we use a good measure to help them.
Overall,the children's leisure time should be educational,thereby they can acquire success easily in the future.
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational,otherwise they are a complete waste of time.Do you agree or disagree?
In the present age,the issue of how children can spend their leisure time is increasingly disturbing.Some people argue that their leisure time should be educated.Personally,I agree with their view,but I would qualify it to some extent.
It is apparent that teaching children how to use their free time effectly plays a pivotal role in their growth.To begin with,the children will acquire more knowledge after study.Their teachers or parents can use this method ,not only to let them understand some useful information,but also can relax their minds and ease their minds.Therefore,this is a good way to improve themselves.Moreover,this method can save much time for children.As the student's studies are becoming increasingly harder,they should dedicate on their study.Therefore,they have less time to broaden their horizons.Additionally,educating children when they are free can also help their studying - that is to say,when they studying in the future,they can use these information,and their study will be more efficient.
Besides,some indlvlduals thlnk that this is their right to distribute their free time.The main reason ls that every body has his or her right to do things,especially for the children.When they finished their homeworks,the children should play more to relax themselves,not to teach them again.Nonetheless,as many children cannot control themselves today,we should introduce them to play.As a matter of fact,the children will receive more,provided that we use a good measure to help them.
Overall,the children's leisure time should be educational,thereby they can acquire success easily in the future.
初评5.5-6
1.结构不错,语法正确,有少量拼写错误
2.第三段与第二段的逻辑关系是转折,应该用however等等
3.主要问题是用词趋于简单,句式还不够多变,论证不够深入但详实
4.结尾太简单,时间不够么?
修改后提出的论点减少,论证更详细
In the present age, the issue of how children can spend their leisure time is increasingly disturbing. Some people advocate that they should take some educational related activities in the spare time, which puts them in a dominant position. Personally, I agree with their view, but I would qualify it to some extent.
Admittedly, it is necessary for children acquire more knowledge after school. Especially, youngsters have to confront with more peer pressure than ever before so that they are seeking to learn against time. In this case, taking part in educational activities can be both personally fulfilling and skill enhancing, in an effort to help children improve competitiveness. Furthermore, all activities are aiming to accomplish specific goals, otherwise they would be meaningless. Under educational guidance, children can build confidence and sense of teamwork consciously, which are less likely been taught in children’s daily study.
However, activities, which are educational, do lose the natural entertaining attractiveness to children as well as restrict the development of creation and imagination. Only by keeping equilibrium between studying and playing can children grow in an all-conclusive way. Instead of wasting of time, leisure activities boost efficiency of study, since children are unable to stay interested in learning all the time. Besides, it is the inviolable right for children to choose how to distribute their free time, even just for playing. The most valuable memory in childhood should not be destroyed by endless teaching. Through participating in leisure activities such as doing sports and travelling, children gain a better understanding of the world and enriching life experience.
Overall, joining educational centred activities benefits the children in their intellectual and psychological aspects, but it is critical to keep the balance between studying and playing. The ideal way to solve this problem is that children should participate in different kinds of activities regardless of educational purpose, but more concentrate on their own interests.
1.结构不错,语法正确,有少量拼写错误
2.第三段与第二段的逻辑关系是转折,应该用however等等
3.主要问题是用词趋于简单,句式还不够多变,论证不够深入但详实
4.结尾太简单,时间不够么?
修改后提出的论点减少,论证更详细
In the present age, the issue of how children can spend their leisure time is increasingly disturbing. Some people advocate that they should take some educational related activities in the spare time, which puts them in a dominant position. Personally, I agree with their view, but I would qualify it to some extent.
Admittedly, it is necessary for children acquire more knowledge after school. Especially, youngsters have to confront with more peer pressure than ever before so that they are seeking to learn against time. In this case, taking part in educational activities can be both personally fulfilling and skill enhancing, in an effort to help children improve competitiveness. Furthermore, all activities are aiming to accomplish specific goals, otherwise they would be meaningless. Under educational guidance, children can build confidence and sense of teamwork consciously, which are less likely been taught in children’s daily study.
However, activities, which are educational, do lose the natural entertaining attractiveness to children as well as restrict the development of creation and imagination. Only by keeping equilibrium between studying and playing can children grow in an all-conclusive way. Instead of wasting of time, leisure activities boost efficiency of study, since children are unable to stay interested in learning all the time. Besides, it is the inviolable right for children to choose how to distribute their free time, even just for playing. The most valuable memory in childhood should not be destroyed by endless teaching. Through participating in leisure activities such as doing sports and travelling, children gain a better understanding of the world and enriching life experience.
Overall, joining educational centred activities benefits the children in their intellectual and psychological aspects, but it is critical to keep the balance between studying and playing. The ideal way to solve this problem is that children should participate in different kinds of activities regardless of educational purpose, but more concentrate on their own interests.