ielts 评作文 准备考雅思了,写了篇作文,望高手指点一下有什么错误和不足的地方,还有这篇文章大概能拿多少分,Air

ielts 评作文
准备考雅思了,写了篇作文,望高手指点一下有什么错误和不足的地方,还有这篇文章大概能拿多少分,
Air travel only brings advantages to the rich people.But the majority of people do not benefit from it.To what extent do you agree?
As the technology is developing at an staggering rate,the transportation for individuals to anywhere become more comfortable and less time-consuming,which should attribute to the innovation of aeroplane.However,some people assert that they believe air travel rarely brings benefits to the common people,but only take advantages to the wealthy people.In my opinion,I am not agree with them.
Some people hold their own opinion that air travel brings profits to the affluent individuals.For one thing,in the contemporary society,wealthy people often select the air transportation when they tend to go to the other countries or somewhere far from their home,while common people or impoverished people give up to choose air travel and take other typies of transport,because they are cheaper.For another,Traveling by plane is less time-consuming,and it helps wealthy individuals to save a lot of time,therefore they will have the ability to spend more time and energy on their work,which could enhance their efficiency of working,but many ordinary workers cannot afford to profit from it.
However,from my point of view,aeroplane is not only built to meet the affluent individuals’ requirements.Firstly,aeroplanes always have a variety of classes for people to choose,for instance,it have the economy class,business class and VIP class.The price of economy class can be afford by majority of individuals,while the VIP class it’s aimed to be picked by the wealthy individuals who prefer to take air travel comfortably,so definitely it is more expensive.Secondly,traveling by plane gives us more choices when we are deciding which transportation should be taken.If we have a little time but a little more budget,we can choose to take aeroplane.On the other hand,if we have enough time and restricted budget,we can pick another transportation which will cost less.Finally,the appearance of aeroplane also brings a lot of employment opportunities for the individuals,it makes the incidence of unemployment drop down.
From all the above views,I believe that air travel is not only beneficial to the wealthy individuals,but also does good for us ordinary ones.

写得很好,只是有几个地方用的句子一样,感觉不太好