麻烦给这篇英文小日记挑错误

麻烦给这篇英文小日记挑错误
Talk with Timi
She is from Hungary.I know nothing about Hungary even where it is.So I found some articles about it from the Microsoft Student 2006 and see its map.Is a very small country,i know its geographical position from the map.Its too fay away from China.Compair with China it seems inappreciable.I tell her about my city,the population and the area and show her some pictures.My city ShanTou have the population of 4,680,000 and the area of 2064 sq.km.She said it's a big city.I told her BeiJing is much more large than ShanTou.But to my surprise,she didn't know BeiJing,the capital of China!I told her something about BeiJing and I said the 2008 Olympic Games will hold in China and we all proud of it.Then she said Budapest would like to hold the 2012 Olympic Games,but they know,the country has no money for it,but their parliament don't take care of it.It seems she don't like their parliament.And from her words i know the Hungary didn't do a good job and the people are dissatisfied.I feel happy that we living in China.
这里面应该有很多语法错误才对>

She is from Hungary. Since I know nothing about Hungary even where it is , I went to look for some articles about it. From the Microsoft Student 2006 I found its map. It is really a quite small country. I also made clear its geographical location from this map. It`s so faraway from China. Compared with China, it seems rather inappreciable. I tell her about the city I live in ,such as the population and the customs. In addition, I shew her some pictures of it. The population of ShanTou is 4,680,000 and its size is 2064 sq.km. She said that it was a big city. But I told her that BeiJing is much larger than ShanTou in size. Much to my surprise, she didn't even know BeiJing at all, the capital of China! Then I told her something about BeiJing and the exciting news that the 2008 Olympic Games would be held in it. Both of us were very proud of it. Then she said Budapest would probably hold the 2012 Olympic Games. However, the country has big financial problem. Moreover, their parliament don't pay much attention to it. She seemed not to like their parliament in some aspects. From her words, I knew that Hungary didn't make an effort and the dissatisfaction of its nationals . I felt pretty lucky to live in China.
楼主,日记应该有固定格式的,别忘记在最上方写下日期和天气哦.
你还是能够较清楚表达自己的意思,但由于词汇及语法上的束缚,还有待提高.建议有空多背背词汇手册,多看看原版小说之类的,但要选择适合你自己的.
努力吧,MAY YOU SUCCEED!