改改雅思作文呀,结构行不行,逻辑性怎么样,用词哪方面还要加强,有没有更好的用法.

改改雅思作文呀,结构行不行,逻辑性怎么样,用词哪方面还要加强,有没有更好的用法.
Some people believe that it is important to protect the environment ,but they no efforts on it .why is it so what actions should be taken to protect the environment
Currently,the environmental problem has been caused widely concern among the world.In fact ,people ruin the environment every day ,such as using car which may bring a great deal of pollution,and using plastic bag which may damage the ecosystem.Although individuals have already realized the phenomenon ,but little actions are performed by human beings.Personally I consider that many factors contribute to the phenomenon.
In the first place,people believe that protecting the environment is a big issue for a individual.Governments or authorities should be responsibility for issue.Just several people efforts may do nothing about protecting the environment .at the same time ,human beings may be natural selfish.They are afraid to witness that himself or herself spare no efforts to protect the surrounding,while others destroy it.All in all,preserving the environment,they believe,is not one person s obligation,but the government.
In addition,the insufficient public facilities may lead to the contamination of environment.Owing to the lack of public facilities people may cannot find the dump or trash can ,or find the dump which is far from what they live in.it is inconvenient to spend such plenty of time to find a dump.The public vehicles is another vital factor resulting in the environment pollution.People are forced to possess their private cars for study or work due to lack of public buses.The emission of cars will inevitable increase with the growth of number of cars.
Given the severe phenomenon ,we must present certain effective measures to address the pollution.The government should shoulder responsibility for the pollution ,executing some social regulations for the contamination of environments.Besides the number of public vehicles should be intensified.In the way ,there is possibility for people to try to utilize the public vehicle.I firmly believe that,through such effective measures ,the environment will be improved to some extent.

第1行widely 是副词 wide
第7行responsibility是名词 responsible
第8行natural是形容词 naturally
第9行原文They are afraid to witness that himself or herself spare no efforts to protect the surrounding,while others destroy it.（witness的主语多是时间或地点）
第14行原文what they live in有语法错误which they live in或where they live
第14行原文spend such plenty of time to find a dump应为spend such plenty of time finding a dump
第17行inevitable是形容词 inevitablely
再问： 你好呀把这个提问也给我改了吧 http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/360571995.html?oldq=1两个都选你。逻辑方面要加强吗。
再答： 雅思的话已经可以了！