英语翻译帮忙修改一段英文(修改语病,语法错误,把繁复的单词和句子简单化),直接翻译也行!尽量没有语法错误,单词句子简单点

英语翻译
帮忙修改一段英文(修改语病,语法错误,把繁复的单词和句子简单化),直接翻译也行!尽量没有语法错误,单词句子简单点,言简意赅最好了.
这是中文:
这是爱丽丝在很早以前一个夏日里的梦.在这梦的奇境里,白兔戴着白手套,毛虫吸着烟斗……疯了的制帽人和三月兔总是在喝茶,而红桃王后要砍掉每一个人的头…… 这故事很奇怪,可是,在梦境里什么都会发生.
也许你会觉得这样一篇童话对于我这样的年龄显得幼稚,不过,我觉得,只要保持一颗童心,一个精彩的童话世界便会出现在你的眼前,并且能让你明白很多东西.只有纯洁的人们才能进入那样五彩斑斓、天马行空的梦境世界,他们就是生活在美梦与想象中的天使,这里的世界总是那么新奇、有趣.就让我们和爱丽丝一起走进这奇妙的仙境吧!
这是英文:
It's the dream that Alice dreamt in a summer a long time ago.In that strange dream,the rabbit were wearing white gloves,the caterpillar were smoking a pipe...the crazy person who was making hat and March rabbit were always drinking tea.And the queen of hearts wanted to cut down everyone's head...The stroy was very strange,but everything could happen in dreamland.
Perhaps you will think such a fairy tale seems inmature to age such as me,however,I think,so long as keep a childlike innocence,an excellent fairy tale world will appear before you,and can let you understand a lot of things.Only pure people could enter the dreamland worlds of riot of color,powerful and unconstrained style like that,they are angels living in fond dream and imagination,the world here is always so novel,interesting.Let us come into this wonderful fairyland with Alice!
可能有些长,但是事关我的英语演讲啊!我的几乎全部分都悬赏出来了,花点时间,

这是爱丽丝在很早以前一个夏日里的梦.Alice dreamt this dream a long time ago during summer.在这梦的奇境里,In this strange dream,白兔戴着白手套,the rabbit/bunny was wearing white gloves,毛虫吸着烟斗……the caterpillar was smoking from a tobacco pipe.疯了的制帽人和三月兔总是在喝茶,The crazy hat-maker and the March rabbit were always drinking tea.而红桃王后要砍掉每一个人的头……While the Queen of Red Hearts wanted to kill everyone (cut everyone's head) 这故事很奇怪,This is a strange/weird story,可是,however,在梦境里什么都会发生.everything could happen/is possible in dreams.
也许你会觉得这样一篇童话对于我这样的年龄显得幼稚,You are probably thinking that it is very immature of me to be telling a fairy tale like this one.(Perhaps太中国化了,我觉得换成probably会更好一点.)不过,However,我觉得,I think that只要保持一颗童心,as long as I have a young soul,(childlike innocence太复杂了,young soul的意思就是年轻的心灵,也就是童心.)一个精彩的童话世界便会出现在你的眼前,a beautiful world of fairly tales will appear in front of your eyes,并且能让你明白很多东西.and can teach you many things.(能教你很多东西的意思和能让你明白很多东西的意思是一样的吧..呵呵..我觉得这样更简练点.不过你写的也很好!)只有纯洁的人们才能进入那样五彩斑斓、Only people with a pure/innocent heart can enter a dream world that is so colorful,天马行空的梦境世界,and is full of imaginations.他们就是生活在美梦与想象中的天使,They are angles who live in wonderful dreams and imaginations.这里的世界总是那么新奇、有趣.This world is always so intersting and appealing.就让我们和爱丽丝一起走进这奇妙的仙境吧!Let's go with Alice into this wonderful dreamland!
其实你翻译的不错,就是有一些地方(很少)不太通顺.我自己重新翻译了一下.不错你的真的不错.有很多地方我觉得你写的更好.不过有些地方我觉得我翻译的更简洁清楚.你不是说言简意赅嘛.
Alice dreamt this dream a long time ago during summer.In this strange dream,the rabbit/bunny was wearing white gloves,the caterpillar was smoking from a tobacco pipe.The crazy hat-maker and the March rabbit were always drinking tea.While the Queen of Red Hearts wanted to kill everyone (cut everyone's head) This is a strange/weird story,everything could happen/is possible in dreams.
You are probably thinking that it is very immature of me to be telling a fairy tale like this one.However,I think thatas long as I have a young soul,a beautiful world of fairly tales will appear in front of your eyes,and can teach you many things.(Only people with a pure/innocent heart can enter a dream world that is so colorful,and is full of imaginations.They are angles who live in wonderful dreams and imaginations.This world is always so intersting and appealing.Let's go with Alice into this wonderful dreamland!
中间不插中文的.可能你读起来会更方便一些.