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剑7 test1 小作文 求修改

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剑7 test1 小作文 求修改
The graphic information in the table shows how the consumers spend their money between different items in the following five countries,Ireland,Italy,Spain,Sweden and Turkey,by 2002.
Consistent with the figures in the table,most of people in Ireland and Turkey are more likely to spend their money on Food/Drinks/Tobacco,with 28.91% in Ireland and 32.14% in Turkey,and the other three countries listed here are relatively low,averaging of 17% or so.However,the percentage of consumer expenditure for Clothing/footwear in the five countries was roughly stood on the same level,apart from Italy,which occupies as highly as 9.00%.Meanwhile,it is no doubt that Spain was the lowest country for national consumer expenditure of Leisure/Education,only 1.98%,while Turkey,according to the table,was more than twice that in Spain.Somewhat surprisingly however,the cost for Leisure/Education in Ireland,Italy and Sweden recorded here is 2.21%,3.2% and 3.22% respectively.
To sum up,consumers in Turkey were prefer to pour their money into both Food/Drinks/Tobacco and Leisure/Education,as against the highest consumer expenditure in other Europe countries was Food/Drinks/Tobacco.
The graphic information in the table shows how the consumers spend their money between different items, in the following five countries by 2002: Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey.
According to the table, most of the people in Ireland and Turkey were more likely to spend their money on food, drinks and tobacco. For Ireland and Turkey, the percentage of the money spend were 28.91% and 32.14%, but the other three countries in comparison had a percentage that was relatively low, which was at an average of 17% or so. However, the consumer expenditure for clothing and footwear in Italy were the highest, which was around 9.00%. Still, there’s no doubt that Spain was the country with the lowest percentage for national consumer expenditure of leisure and education that was only 1.98%; while Turkey, was more than twice of what Spain had. Yet, the cost for leisure and education in Ireland, Italy and Sweden, according to the data, were at 2.21%, 3.2% and 3.22%.
In conclusion, consumers in Turkey were preferred to pour their money into both Food/Drinks/Tobacco and Leisure/Education, as against the highest consumer expenditure in other Europe countries was Food/Drinks/Tobacco.
大多数的用词方法改了一下,顺序也稍微换了一下,这样读起来比较顺口,还有你那个Food/Drinks/Tobacco和Leisure/Education,在这边基本上是不用“/”来划分的,就直接用逗号,而且也不要大写.
你最后一段我没看懂你想说什么,所以就没改了,.