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雅思大作文修改,Q Some people argue that changes in agriculture such

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雅思大作文修改,
Q Some people argue that changes in agriculture such as factory farming and creation of new types of vegetables are positive.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A
Nowadays,the debate of changes in agriculture development has become to a popular topic.Personally,I tend to agree with the opinion of the changes in agriculture are positive.
First of all,the new agricultural technology has brought people numerous benefits.For example,people do not need to work so hard as before physically as the machines can replace humans doing the boring repetitive jobs.Beside,the new created types of vegetables can bring people fresh fancy experience is another case in point.Additionally,a vast number of employment opportunities have been created for those well educated people.For instance,the factory farming need skilled workers to look after it and the new scientific agricultural ideas should be figured out by those professionals.Last but not least,the economy of the industry has been promoted as well.The new developments boost the market.In other words,people can buy vegetables and fruits more economically compare to the past age.
On the other hand,there are some concerns about these changes too.Some people may worry about whether the new types of vegetables are healthy or not as they are all artificially created and they grow up against natural law.Moreover,the people who short of knowledge and just work relying on their physical force may be facing critical difficulties these days.Because of the machinery factory farming,most of them might lose their jobs.However they still need to survive.Therefore,the relative government strategy should be set to solve the problems.(E.g.The government should supply specific training to those workers and the food safety inspections should be set and well controlled by related departments.)
Overall,I think we have to admit there are many advantages and benefits that the changes of the agriculture have brought to our society today.Although some problems still exist,we believe the government can work them out in near future.
Q Some people argue that changes in agriculture such as factory farming and creation of new types of vegetables are positive.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A
Nowadays,the debate of changes in agriculture development has become( to 省略)a popular topic.Personally,I tend to agree with the opinion of(of 改成that,同位语从句) the changes in agriculture are positive.
First of all,the new agricultural technology has brought people numerous benefits.For example,people do not need to work so hard as before physically as the machines can replace humans doing the boring repetitive jobs.Beside(Besides),the new created types of vegetables can bring(can bring改成bringing,因为这句话有两个动词了,要么就用从句) people fresh fancy experience is another case in point.Additionally,a vast number of employment opportunities have been created for those well educated people.For instance,the factory farming need skilled workers to look after it and the new scientific agricultural ideas should be figured out by those professionals.Last but not least,the economy of the industry has been promoted as well.The new developments boost the market.In other words,people can buy vegetables and fruits more economically compare (compared)to the past age.
On the other hand,there are some concerns about these changes too.Some people may worry about whether the new types of vegetables are healthy or not as they are all artificially created and they grow up against natural law.Moreover,the people who (are)short of knowledge and just work relying on their physical force may be facing critical difficulties these days.Because of the machinery factory farming,most of them might lose their jobs.However they still need to survive.Therefore,the relative government strategy should be set to solve the problems.(E.g.The government should supply specific training to those workers and the food safety inspections should be set and well controlled by related departments.)
Overall,I think we have to admit there are many advantages and benefits that the changes of the agriculture have brought to our society today.Although some problems still exist,we believe the government can work them out in near future.
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写得挺好的,基本上没有什么问题