老师...请问你有空吗?能帮我修改下语法吗?.

老师...请问你有空吗?能帮我修改下语法吗?.
The power of Luck.
Luck,an abstract thing.It will make everything good.
If you got this ,you would succeed in everything you did.
But luck just like a bird ,you can't find it easily.
Einstein ever said :Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
But there was a problem Einstein didn't find.
That was luck.
A lot of successful men will be successful in their businesses,families,and grades cuz they had good moments ,good situations ,and good friends.
All these good things were luck!
To catch luck is impossible.
If you feel it is stayed by your side.
Don't use it to do some stupid thing likes gamble.To buy a lottery is enough for you.
Cuz you will become nothing soon.
I think the luck isn't too hard to get.
Trying to make a good mood in all day and you would feel everything is so fine.With a good manner to everybody.
Everything you felt was difficult to do and just become a piece of cake now.Good mood is very important.
If you think you aren't a lucky guy.
Trying to make efforts and trying to make kindnesses to everyone.
Guys ,you know.I always hope I have a lucky goddess and she will always stay by my side.
我只是想通过写写文章找出些薄弱的语法问题...例如第三人称单数忘记在动词后加S之类的语法问题..
我觉得都是一点点累计..不可能一下子转换成英文的思路..

Luck, an abstract thing.
(注一)这是不完整句子,只要在对语法掌握纯熟才可用.
考作文时,切记不要在开始便使用.
要先让改卷员知道你有一定程度,确定这不是错误,而是技巧
It will make everything good.
(ok)
If you got this ,you would succeed in everything you did.
conditional sentence 时态掌握不错,也有relative clause的运用.
这样的句子在考试可以得分
But luck just like a bird ,you can't find it easily.
(注一)
参考 With luck just like a bird,...
But luck is just like a bird,...
----------------
Einstein ever said : Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
ever改为once
(einstein said that or Thomas Edison?)
------------------------------------------
But there was a problem Einstein didn't find.
(参考:But there was something Einstein had dismissed.)
That was luck.
(ok)
A lot of successful men will be successful in their businesses, families,
and grades cuz they had good
moments ,good situations ,and good friends.
避免用men,用persons,原则是要用中性
不要用cuz,你不会因为这而得分,而且有反效果
避免在同一句内有不同的时态
参考: A lot of persons succeed in ... because of right moments.
All these good things were luck!
(参考: All these are what we call luck.)
To catch luck is impossible.
(ok)
---------------------------------
If you feel it is stayed by your side.
Don't use it to do some stupid thing likes gamble.
(注二:这2句要有大的改动
(参考: If you feel it by your side, don't use it do such stupid things as gambling.)
原文likes不可以有s, gamble应用gambling
------------------------------------------
To buy a lottery is enough for you.
(ok)
Cuz you will become nothing soon.
(cuz again? and it is not a good sentence.)
I think (the) luck isn't too hard to get.
cancel 'the'
-----------------------
Trying to make a good mood in all day and you would feel everything is so fine.
参考: Always trying to have a good mood, you ...
Alawys try to have a good mood and you .
----------------------
With a good manner to everybody.
(注一)
Everything you felt was difficult to do and just become a piece of cake now.
试用以上提及的方法来避免同一句子内有不同的时态
(提示: Difficult tasks in the past...)
Good mood is very important.
(ok)
------------------
If you think you aren't a lucky guy.
Trying to make efforts and trying to make kindnesses to everyone.
参考注二,将这2句合为一
...try to be kind to others.
(作文要反映常理,不可以对所有人的友善,所以用others会好一些)
-------------------------------------
Guys , you know. I always hope I have a lucky goddess and she will always
stay by my side.
(ok)