关于托福作文.Many students spend most of their time on their studi

关于托福作文.
Many students spend most of their time on their studies wothout pariticipating in school activities discuss the advantage and the disadvantageof thir attiude towards their school life.
We can see many students studying in classroom day and night without pariticipating in school activities.Studying is important for a student.But should we study all day without taking part in any activities?I think studying is not the only in a student's life and a good student should combine his study with pariticipating in school activities.
Pariticipating in school activities have many advantages.The start with it can help us to obtain many experience.We may learn many things from the activities such as improving your ablitily and teamwork.The experience will make our horizon improve and it will be helpful when we get a job.Second we can make many friends in participating the activities.we will work with many other people in taking part in the activities,so we can make friends with them .we can learn many things from our friends and they might help us if we were to get into trouble in the future.Third doing this will make us confident when we work.we may think :"I have so much experience from the school activeties so my job also will not be diffcult."So pariticipating in school activities benifit us too much,it is useful for us in our school time even for my whole life.
And if we only study in the classroom ,there will be many disadvantages.First you can not obtain any experience by doing this.You can not learn anything out of the textbook so you will not realize how beautiful this world is.Second you do not know how do deal with the relationship between people.When you work in the company you say may something that your boss do not like but you do not know.It is harm for your career.The of critical important thing is you will not be creative.You just know follow others but create something new.
For the aforementioned reasons,I think students should not spend most of their time in studying without pariticating in school activities.It is harm for them.A student with no experence and friends is diffcult to be successful.
这是我独立作文处子作..大家批评下.
随便说..说得问题多又好的给高分

首先,你不觉得第一段太短了吗?你只表达了自己的立场,但应该再作适当解释,个人认为不太合理.拼写错误有点多,如下：第一行wothout-without,pariticipating-participating,第二行 disadvantageof-disadvantage of,thir-their,attiude-attitude.以后的participate拼写还是错的.第三段第三行：ablitily-ability,第9行：activeties-activities,倒数第二行：diffcult-difficult,benifit -benefit.最后一行:experence-experience,diffcult-difficult.这是拼写错误.个人语法很烂,不能妄作评价,还是找一个老师改的好.participate如果不会拼写做好换别的词的代替,核心词一直拼错会很影响成绩的,虽然拼错词是允许的,但还是越少越好.写完了可以放倒WPS或WORD文档,这样错词就直接划横线了,用我的写作老师的话说就是,大多数人刚开始写的时候基本上都是“万里山河一片红”.一点建议,