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请哪位老师帮着改改作文,指出语法词汇等方面的错误,

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请哪位老师帮着改改作文,指出语法词汇等方面的错误,
The Classmate I Admire Most
I have been a student for more than 11 years.There were so many classmates who had studied with me.It is difficult for me to decide which one of them is that I admire most.To be honest,everyone all has his or her own adventures.But it is easy to say Li Hua is the most unforgettable classmate in my study life.
Li Hua was a Lovely girl with a pair of big eyes.She was beautiful and clever.She was always helping others.Many others had been helped by her,even the teachers.She was a kind girl and I will remember her forever.
文章结构头太大了,不成比例,不好意思,时间限制,只能练习一下语法和词汇了.
The Classmate I Admire Most
I have studied in school for more than 11 years. There were so many classmates who used to study with me. It is difficult for me to decide who I admire most. To be honest, everyone has his or her own advantages. But obviously, Li Hua is the most unforgettable classmate in my study life.
Li Hua is a Lovely girl with big eyes. She is beautiful and clever. She always helps others. Not only the students, but also the teachers were favored from her help. She is a kind girl and I will remember her forever.
1. had studied 过去完成时,改成了一个短语used to do 过去曾经做某事
2. 后面一个从句太繁琐,并且句子不通顺,简化成了who
3. everyone后面不加all
4. adventure是指 冒险,奇遇 优点是advantage
5. 描述客观存在的人或事物,用一般现在时.
6. 一般不用a pair of修饰眼睛、手、腿等身体部分,直接用复数.
7. many others 一般不这么用